Wednesday, February 3, 2010

"why didn't you tell me" Wednesday

You guessed it!... It is NAP-TIME!! As I hurry to eat my lunch I am starting off a new thing here at Clarksville Capers... I have steadily kept track of all these wacky things that I wish somebody would have told me... most of them relate to becoming a mommy and since most of my followers are girls, I thought this would be a fun thing to do. You will either wince at my misfortune, recall your own similar experience, or use it to keep yourself from feeling alone if you find yourself in the same predicament! Please feel free to share comments with your own experiences, as long as you don't mind if I share them in later posts!

#1 Why didn't you tell me....

that even though when you become a mother, you will never be alone, but yet, you will feel very lonely...

I am blessed to have finally had a baby after many long years of praying for one, but in my greatest joy, I have found isolation. I don't have the baby-blues or any sort of depression about it--I love my son (even when he wants to wake up every 2-3 hours at night, when he smiles at me, I smile back, because I am thankful he is here). The isolation I feel is because, as a new mom, you are struggling to just perform he basic functions for yourself, while tending to a whole new life.

1. I used to be "on the go" a lot. Now, if I even feel rested enough to think of venturing out, it requires a ton of work and prep just to make it out the door. Namely, the getting ready part for me is so hard. Putting on "real" clothes is just a luxury!

2. There is no such thing as a "quick" visit with a friend. Part of this is because I am so far away from many of my friends, and part of it is because I just cannot function enough to get out sometimes.

3. I used to talk on the phone "A LOT". Now I have to remember to call my friends to check in with them-- to let them know that I am still alive. Part of this is because of my next point...

4. My schedule is so crazy. For the past year, due to my sickness or now catering to my son's needs, my schedule is just the total opposite of everyone else's. So, even if I could settle down for a quick chat, it is while most of my friends (and my husband) are in bed or at work! If I do actually manage a call, it could be cut short because of "bodily functions" ;)

5. Because I am so drained, I don't feel like I can comprehend much or hold any sort of intelligent discussion that doesn't involve my child or my lack of sleep, and I know that most people don't want to hear this... so, I keep to myself (except for here... where it is my world-bloggers!).

6. I feel that because I feel this way, that something is not right with ME... and that is why I am being so open and honest in these upcoming posts. It wasn't until a friend of mine called to check in a few weeks ago, that these things were validated and I realized "My GOD, I am not the only one"


  1. Shana, you are doing a great job. I felt the same way about not wanting to get all packed to make a 5 minute visit...

    Ha! I know EXACTLY how you feel about not having any sort of conversation except for about your child or no is ALL NORMAL!

    One of my cousins would message me on FB all the time at first and it was so encouraging. Her baby is about 7 months older than Bennett and she helped me a lot. Motherhood is one of the hardest things I have even done! You always feel guilty for no reason at all. One of my friend's told me that Guilt comes with Motherhood. have to take time for yourself!
    Now, let me get off my soapbox.

  2. You are not the only one believe me! Eleanor is now eight months old and I find myself still struggling to find time for me. I recently reminded my husband that aside from blogging or facebook, I dont get to do things that I "want to do". Ya know real things, out of the house things....I know that I have gained so much by her being here but in some ways I feel that I have lost part of myself. I know that now my needs are secondary to hers (rightfully so)and that is as magical as it is extremely difficult. I am having a hard time finding that balance between "Mommy" and "Tanya". Love the idea of "why didn't you tell me Wednesday's". Can't what to read more! Hang in there it does get better.